Never Eat Alone

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi is truly inspiring book on how to build a career out of strong relationships and your social network. I read it a couple of years ago and it has taught me countless lessons on how to conduct my professional business. I share a couple of these success tips with you today, I receive them every week, in an attempt to motivate you. Everyone needs to put on their A-Game face in this economy and step it up. Hope these help! I have added the Never Eat Alone Blog to my blog roll for your convience.

TIP 1: Focus
At a conference earlier this year, I was handed a copy of Les Hewitt's "Power of Focus" workbook, an awesome little spiral bound book that contains dozens of exercises to help individuals FOCUS in on goals, and not just any goals, but the right ones. Hewitt is the co-author with Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen of The Power of Focus (more info at thepoweroffocus.ca).

There's a section in the workbook called "Kick-Start Your Priority Focus" that struck me as exactly fitting the bill for December, when we're all trying to squeeze in last-minute, year-end business and still find time for holiday madness - parties, decorations, gift lists, and, if you've really got it going on, relaxation and maybe even a little joy too.

Here's Les' list to rev up your focus:

1. Say no.

2. Delegate more effectively.

3. Communicate better.
4. Set well-defined boundaries.
5. Let go (do you really need to know all the details?)
6. Think more about targets and goals.
7. Plan and prioritize each week.
8. Reflect one hour each week. (Such good advice!)
9. Celebrate your victories

Trying to do everything on the list at once may be a tall order. And you may already being some of these things well. But I bet each of us could incorporate a couple of the items and really feel the rewards, right away. Where are you weakest? I'll be working on delegation, as usual, and letting go. For many of us who care deeply about the work we do, giving up control of the details is a real challenge. That's why it's so important to surround ourselves, at work and at home, with people we trust completely to get the job done.

TIP 2: Increase Your Net Worth in 2009

One of the best ways to build team spirit and intimacy in all your relationships in these last days of '08 is to ask everyone you know a big question:

What are you planning to do - no matter how large or how small - to make the world better in 2009?

One of our Ferrazzi Greenlight thought leaders, Mark Goulston, M.D, recently asked this at a networking meeting of high level lawyers, financial advisors, CPAs, and consultants. Mark noticed something interesting happening: People could recall, almost to a man, what others said their 2009 mission would be. Meanwhile, after having been together five years in this group, they still had trouble remembering who was in what profession! Ele vating the conversation to something that truly inspired them connected them in a way that professional small talk never could.

Try it yourself! Sharing your ideas will not only be uplifting, but motivating. Focusing on how to make a difference on a grand scale makes us want to do everything better, from being a good friend to being a good family member to being a good team member at work.

Maybe you've heard the idea that wealth is what you take from the world and worth is what you give back. By that standard, each and everyone one of us has a guaranteed ability to increase our net worth in the coming year. I can't wait!

TIP 3: Master the Art of the Flawless Follow-Up
A member of the Greenlight Community writes, "I met a high level executive a few weeks ago and we had a great connection. He offered to introduce me to a contact/friend who I desperately want to meet. It has been a few weeks and I wanted to follow up with him. I am unsure how to reach back out to him and ask him if he was able to make the introduction without coming as too aggressive. I don't want him to think I will jeopardize his relationship."

Great question, Jay! It's one people ask all the time. There's two parts to the answer.

The first is the tsk, tsk piece, which I bring up only because we all need to hear it. Waiting three weeks to follow up is always a mistake. When you make a new contact, your job in that first meeting is to create a flawless and organic follow up -- a reason for you to get back in touch with him or her that has nothing to do with something you want, but with something they want. Best is if you set the next meeting right there in the room, but finding a reason to get back in touch is good too. Get their email to send them an article or a link apropos to your conversation, for example.

Of course, it could be that you did follow up right away, but he didn't respond the way you had hoped -- perhaps he just sent a polite thank you or hello back, instead of a "here's that introduction I promised." Nice but not the follow--through on his earlier promise of generosity you had hoped for!

It could be that his offer was insincere, but since you said you had a "great connection," I'm going to assume it wasn't. It's more likely that he just plain forgot. We're each the center of our own universes; just because it's important to you, doesn't mean it's important to him -- not yet anyway.

I'm going to suggest three options. They're all good options, but you'll have to suss out the situation to figure out which is best. That's much safer than me offering you a cookie-cutter solution. Making connections isn't making cookies.

Option 1: You know the connection was20great so just go ahead and shoot him an email -- keep it quick and casual, and ask for what you want. (If you haven't reached out to him since the initial meeting 3 weeks ago, this probably isn't the right choice.)

Option 2: Follow up via email, but continue developing the relationship without regard to what you want. Find a generous reason to email him, something you know he'll be interested in based on your meeting. Give the relationship a chance to build "virtually" before you make your ask.

Option 3: Set another meeting. If you truly made a great connection, then why not seal it up in person? Tell him you're sorry you fell off the map but you enjoyed your discussion and you'd like another chance to pick his brain by taking him out to lunch. Most people are pleased to help someone who takes a genuine interest in them. If the lunch goes well, the relationship will build naturally to the point where giving you the contact you need won't be the kind of offhand promise that's easy to forget.

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi is truly inspiring book on how to build a career out of strong relationships and your social network. I read it a couple of years ago and it has taught me countless lessons on how to conduct my professional business. I share a couple of these success tips with you today, I receive them every week, in an attempt to motivate you. Everyone needs to put on their A-Game face in this economy and step it up. Hope these help! I have added the Never Eat Alone Blog to my blog roll for your convience.

TIP 1: Focus
At a conference earlier this year, I was handed a copy of Les Hewitt's "Power of Focus" workbook, an awesome little spiral bound book that contains dozens of exercises to help individuals FOCUS in on goals, and not just any goals, but the right ones. Hewitt is the co-author with Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen of The Power of Focus (more info at thepoweroffocus.ca).

There's a section in the workbook called "Kick-Start Your Priority Focus" that struck me as exactly fitting the bill for December, when we're all trying to squeeze in last-minute, year-end business and still find time for holiday madness - parties, decorations, gift lists, and, if you've really got it going on, relaxation and maybe even a little joy too.

Here's Les' list to rev up your focus:

1. Say no.

2. Delegate more effectively.

3. Communicate better.
4. Set well-defined boundaries.
5. Let go (do you really need to know all the details?)
6. Think more about targets and goals.
7. Plan and prioritize each week.
8. Reflect one hour each week. (Such good advice!)
9. Celebrate your victories

Trying to do everything on the list at once may be a tall order. And you may already being some of these things well. But I bet each of us could incorporate a couple of the items and really feel the rewards, right away. Where are you weakest? I'll be working on delegation, as usual, and letting go. For many of us who care deeply about the work we do, giving up control of the details is a real challenge. That's why it's so important to surround ourselves, at work and at home, with people we trust completely to get the job done.

TIP 2: Increase Your Net Worth in 2009

One of the best ways to build team spirit and intimacy in all your relationships in these last days of '08 is to ask everyone you know a big question:

What are you planning to do - no matter how large or how small - to make the world better in 2009?

One of our Ferrazzi Greenlight thought leaders, Mark Goulston, M.D, recently asked this at a networking meeting of high level lawyers, financial advisors, CPAs, and consultants. Mark noticed something interesting happening: People could recall, almost to a man, what others said their 2009 mission would be. Meanwhile, after having been together five years in this group, they still had trouble remembering who was in what profession! Ele vating the conversation to something that truly inspired them connected them in a way that professional small talk never could.

Try it yourself! Sharing your ideas will not only be uplifting, but motivating. Focusing on how to make a difference on a grand scale makes us want to do everything better, from being a good friend to being a good family member to being a good team member at work.

Maybe you've heard the idea that wealth is what you take from the world and worth is what you give back. By that standard, each and everyone one of us has a guaranteed ability to increase our net worth in the coming year. I can't wait!

TIP 3: Master the Art of the Flawless Follow-Up
A member of the Greenlight Community writes, "I met a high level executive a few weeks ago and we had a great connection. He offered to introduce me to a contact/friend who I desperately want to meet. It has been a few weeks and I wanted to follow up with him. I am unsure how to reach back out to him and ask him if he was able to make the introduction without coming as too aggressive. I don't want him to think I will jeopardize his relationship."

Great question, Jay! It's one people ask all the time. There's two parts to the answer.

The first is the tsk, tsk piece, which I bring up only because we all need to hear it. Waiting three weeks to follow up is always a mistake. When you make a new contact, your job in that first meeting is to create a flawless and organic follow up -- a reason for you to get back in touch with him or her that has nothing to do with something you want, but with something they want. Best is if you set the next meeting right there in the room, but finding a reason to get back in touch is good too. Get their email to send them an article or a link apropos to your conversation, for example.

Of course, it could be that you did follow up right away, but he didn't respond the way you had hoped -- perhaps he just sent a polite thank you or hello back, instead of a "here's that introduction I promised." Nice but not the follow--through on his earlier promise of generosity you had hoped for!

It could be that his offer was insincere, but since you said you had a "great connection," I'm going to assume it wasn't. It's more likely that he just plain forgot. We're each the center of our own universes; just because it's important to you, doesn't mean it's important to him -- not yet anyway.

I'm going to suggest three options. They're all good options, but you'll have to suss out the situation to figure out which is best. That's much safer than me offering you a cookie-cutter solution. Making connections isn't making cookies.

Option 1: You know the connection was20great so just go ahead and shoot him an email -- keep it quick and casual, and ask for what you want. (If you haven't reached out to him since the initial meeting 3 weeks ago, this probably isn't the right choice.)

Option 2: Follow up via email, but continue developing the relationship without regard to what you want. Find a generous reason to email him, something you know he'll be interested in based on your meeting. Give the relationship a chance to build "virtually" before you make your ask.

Option 3: Set another meeting. If you truly made a great connection, then why not seal it up in person? Tell him you're sorry you fell off the map but you enjoyed your discussion and you'd like another chance to pick his brain by taking him out to lunch. Most people are pleased to help someone who takes a genuine interest in them. If the lunch goes well, the relationship will build naturally to the point where giving you the contact you need won't be the kind of offhand promise that's easy to forget.